Last sunday, i threw down the fantasy shaped gauntlet to a regular player at my local Gw. His name is Tom and although a relatively young player, his lizardmen army has garnered great respect from the local gaming community and inspired many of the younger players to start a lizardmen army. I was curious to see how i'd cope against him as i'd seen a battle he played against dwarfs a few weeks ago where he resoundly thrashed them. After settling on 2,000 points the battle lines were drawn up! (N.B I am recalling this from last sunday and so some details are quite fuzzy, i apologise in advance if certain details/units are lost on the wayside or things dont seem to add up army wise as i am doing my best to remember 😛)

Grungron Kol visits Skeggi!

Dwarfs:

Dwarf Lord Ori Coppebeard- 276 points

W/ Gromril armour inscribed with rune of stone and rune of resistance. Great weapon inscribed with master rune of Kragg the grim and two runes of fury. Carried by shield bearers.

Runesmith Ketil Grimbrow- 120 points

W/ Runic talisman inscribed with two runes of spell breaking.

20 Dwarf warriors- 205 points

W/ Hand weapons, shields and full command.

10 Thunderers- 150 Points

W/ shields.

10 Thunderers- 140 points

20 Dwarf warriors- 205 points

W/ Hand weapons, shields and full command.

15 Hammerers- 260 points

W/ Full command and runic standard inscribed with rune of slowness.

Dwarf cannon- 135 points
(Old Reliable)
W/ Rune of forging and rune of reloading.

Dwarf cannon- 130 points
(El Explodo)
W/ rune of reloading and master rune of immolation.

10 Giantslayers- 260 points

Organ gun-120 points

Lizardmen:

Old blood (With that pendant thingy that basically turns him into a carnosaur)

Skink chief

15 Saurus

15 Saurus (Old Blood in there)

Two units of Ten Skinks w/ blowpipes

5 terradons W/ Tik’taq’to

5 Cold one riders

Two salamanders

Fluffy (The stegadon)

The Battlefield: Standard fantasy fare. A field type board with a hill on his side, an empire tavern, a small copse of trees and a scattering of more gnarled trees in the centre of the table. Over on my side there sat a woods, a small hill to my eft and a hill with a lovely entrance dug into it with railway tracks running into the depths of a mine (how very homely!) We decided it was a crude settlement close to Skeggi and that my Throng, clearly in a state of extreme alcoholic refreshment, were trying to find the gift shop when the lizzies showed up.

Deployment: Tom won the roll off and proceeded to place his salamanders on his extreme left, facing the mine over my side. His two Saurus units deployed next to each other, bolstering his left flank. The skinks with the chief deployed in the woods in his deployment and along the far right. Tiq’taq’to and the flyers stayed off the board to come in later. The Cold one riders faced down the other hill, backing up the skinks on the right flank.

I placed both my cannons on the left most hill, giving them a nice view of the field (as well as a nice view of fluffy). The shielded thunderer unit sat just below the war machines, facing down the cold ones. The organ Gun sat on top of the mine, the other thunderers sat on the tracks below, resting their guns on the wooden buffer, normally reserved to halt the progress of mine carts. Next to the mine, the giantslayers stood with barely contained bloodlust. The lord and hammerers were placed next to them with the Runesmith’s warrior Block being placed in the centre of the table. My second warrior block was placed next to the left most hill to bolster the missile units in close combat.

With that done we rolled to see who would go first. Even with the plus one from setting up first, Tom lost the roll and I elected to go first- game on!

Turn one (Dawi): Swinging their axes lazily in the mid morning heat haze, the Giantslayers raced along the battlefield, seeing the vicious bulk of the stegadon advancing towards them, their eyes glowed aflame with the hungry fires of battle (or it was just a reflection from their hair…whatever). The Hammereunit Moved up to join them, interposing themselves between the woods and the slayers. The Runesmith’s warrior block moved up behind them, Old Ketil Grumbling that the tropic climes were playing Hell with his rheumatic knee. The cannon crews, prepared their guns and made ready to turn the impertinent lizards into some sort of reptilian mulch. The crew of Ol’ Reliable drew a bead on Fluffy and fired. The cannon ball was bang on target, landing just in front of the stegadon and bouncing two inches to take the big fella on the snout, taking two wounds from him. El Explodo’s crew were rankled to see their cannonball simply bounce off one of cold one riders and buried their beards into the gun carriage to avoid the taunts of their fellow gunners. With everything else out of range I ended my turn.

Turn one(Lizardmen): With many a hiss and a skitter, the entirety of the Lizardmen army advanced forwards, the Skinks loping past the Empire tavern on the left of his side and down the right towards the mine. All the while my Lord rested on top of his shield, humming the theme tune to Jurassic Park.

Turn Two (Dawi): “Bloody Hell” Murmured King Ori Copperbeard as he watched the stegadon crash through the trees towards him. He was more than a little relieved to see the Giantslayers Move up to meet it, Interposing themselves between it and the hammerers, ready to take the brunt of it’s charge. “Bloody Nutters” He grumbled further, knowing that a few of them were going to be trampled into a sticky paste when the beast charged. The characterless warrior block turned to the left, ready to flank the cold one riders when they inevitably charged the thunderers (provided the gunners could hold of course)
The rest of the army held fast, digging in to their positions and grumbling about the state of the “holiday” so far. Ol reliable sought to knock Fluffy down a peg once more but unfortunately fell short. EL Explodo Took out a Cold one rider, eliciting high fives from the crew and rude gestures aimed at the other gunners.

The organ gun sighted down the Old blood’s unit and fired. The artillery dice came up a two and deciding this wasn’t favourable I elected to re roll, this time getting a ten! Tom wasn’t best pleased. 8 of the Reptiles were mulched forcing a panic check on the unit who easily passed. The Thunderers in the mine took a pot shot at the Skinks advancing towards them, killing three, whilst their brothers on the left side of the table took out two Cold one riders with their guns. Vaguely satisfied with my shooting, I dug in and prepared for charges.

Turn two (Lizardmen): Fluffy ran into the Giantslayers, roaring and "I swear too much" as he did. The cold ones passed their stupidity checks and charged the thunderers, losing one to stand and shoot. The Skinks tittered to themselves and slinked out from behind the tavern and took some potshots at the warrior block next to the hill. One dwarf was poisoned (though from the blowpipe or the dodgy pie he had on the seafront the night before, we aren’t entirely sure.) The Skinks on the left flank, skittered past the thunderers and set themselves up at the foot of the hill, obviously making ready to take out my organ gun. The salamanders were a prodded and a poked into vomiting gobbets of napalm that managed to kill three dwarfs from the characterless warrior block. They stood firm as all good dwarfs stood, especially when your mates are on fire.

In The wonderful world of Close combat, Fluffy got a 6 for his impact hits and promptly tramples three of the ginger gladiators. The remaining Front rankers promptly swung back and sliced a fine side of dinosaur beef out of the stegadon and fluffy promptly fell over.
Less happy days over on my left flank, where the cold one riders punched through the thunderers, overrunning and feeding on their tasty beards and knees, before running into the two cannons. The chief gunner chuckled madly as he softly stroked the rune of immolation engraved onto El Explodo, Beard wet with salivated anticipation. The unit preparing to flank could only answer “arsebiscuits” as they were found to be suddenly out of reach of their cold blooded targets.

Turn three (Dawi): Still frothing at the mouth and salivating with the taste of stegadon steak in their mouths, the giantslayers charged the characterless Saurus unit. I took a gamble and decided to hold off charging the Oldblood’s unit, wary of his prowess whilst backed up by a few ranks and hopped up on his magical carnosaur cosplaying pendant. The Runesmith’s warrior blocks moved up to back up the slayers should they need it, old Ketil wheezing with the effort of moving; “All this cross country running and not a single speck of magic to bloody dispel” he mumbled into his beard. The Characterless warriors decided to buggery with the cold ones and marched towards the skinks on the left flank. Ignoring the Gibbering skinks nearby, the Organ gun drew a bead at the old blood’s unit, rolling an 8 and taking out 7 of the Saurus. They held, their cold blooded natures rising to the fore. The thunderers in the mine decided they didn’t much fancy the look of the bright orange fire lizards and promptly opened fire. One of the salamanders was turned into lead filled chorizo whilst the other stared at them dully, its mouth opening wide…

The Giantslayers Hacked down two of the Saurus, obviously debilitated from eating their own bodyweight in steak. The Saurus found some nerve and knocked out three of the slayers, leaving the old gingers in a sore state indeed. The Cold one riders munched through the cannon crew, save for one lone gunner with a clipboard. Obviously he was loathe to be eaten by dinosaurs until he had filled out the appropriate paperwork for the day and he held.

Turn Three (Lizardmen): With many a gibber and a clicking of the tongue, the skinks charged into the organ gun crew, pointy sticks at the ready. The Oldblood gribbled at his Saurus to charge the Hammerers but found instead that they ran into an invisible wall. Breaking his own back from laughter, my Dwarf lord composed himself, nodded thanks to Ketil for the rune of slowness and pointed at the Oldblood (just to let him know what was going to go down). The skinks on the left flank, jinked to the left and readied their blowpipes at the advancing warrior unit. Shooting saw the remaining fire lizard of doom throw up a little too heartily and the gobbet of napalm fly well over the thunderers in the mine. The gunners breathed a collective sigh of relief and made a solid oath to take the beast down (and to change their underwear when the next chance arose). The skinks decided to do nothing but recreate the opening theme to “Shaft” using the pitter patter of darts plinking off of dwarves armour as opposed to….killing some.

In combat the Giantslayers decided that no quest for a noble death was worth putting up with this failure of a package holiday and promptly all died to the Saurus. In other more hilarious news, the skinks attacking the organ gun failed to do anything to the crew and lost three in return (I schvitz you not folks). Deciding they didn’t much fancy the meaaaan combat prowess of my clipboard wielding berserkers, they promptly buggered off. On my left flank, having properly filed the Grugni PA36D Health and safety evaluation form, my last cannon crew member was munched, not before nonchalantly thumbing the rune of immolation and blasting two of the Saurus to buggery.

Turn Four (Dawi): Mildly surprised at this new sensation, my Lord and his unit ran forward and charged the Oldblood’s unit. The Runesmith and company went for it with the other Saurus and got stuck in. The characterless unit continued their merry chase after the skinks while My Organ gun wiped out the remaining salamanders and the thunderers took a pot shot at the fleeing skinks, taking out a couple. In combat related news, the Old blood roared a challenge to my lord who responded in kind. The gribbly carnosaur pretending thing had the audacity to inflict a wound which I repaid double. Both lords broke away, bloodied but unbowed. My Hammerers bopped three Saurus who took one in return. He lost the combat but had the audacity to pass his LD test the git. The Runesmith and his merry band were evidently addled from the previous night’s drinking and proceeded to do nothing whilst two of their number fell over in a severe state of death. Luckily, bleary eyed dwarf courage won through and they held.

Turn Four (Lizardmen): The skinks of failure rallied and faced the mine once more. With great ceremony and heralded by an Aztec remix of “Ride of the Valkyries”, Tiq’tak’to and his merry band arrived (Bet you thought I‘d forgotten about them eh?), swooping over towards the organ gun. The cold one riders wheeled and moved down the hill, bearing down on the main combat in the centre with the hammerers and Old blood’s saurus (Why he didn’t go for the left most Warrior unit is beyond me as I had presented my rear to them (steady on!) I shall never fathom. He did only have the command left at this point so perhaps he felt safer using them in a supporting role rather than get into a combat on their own).

The skinks took out an unfortunate Dawi who fell to a poisoned shot from The blowpipezzz of dooom!!!1! The terradon riders made a pass over (as opposed to At) my organ gun crew but all hit the gun itself doing nothing at all. The Hammerers took a heavy toll on the Saurus, wiping them out, leaving only the Oldblood left. He Struck out and slew two and somehow managed to weather the enthusiastic swings of my Lord’s axe. This time, his cold blood wasn’t enough and he broke. By some small miracle the hammerer’s caught up with him and ran him into the ground. The Runesmith and company managed to inflict two casualties whilst losing none of their own. Despite outnumbering and rank bonuses, the Saurus Held.

Turn Five (Dawi): The warrior unit on the left flank, hefted their belts and put on a burst of speed, puffing and wheezing their way into combat with the skinks. The Organ gun belched out 6 shots at the Riders putting the uppity reptiles down for good. In the Runesmith’s combat, Ketil and the lads took out two more Saurus and managed to lose nobody in the process and so won the combat. The Saurus decided to get arsey and go all “passing their morale check” on us, which is frankly rude. The Skinks on the left flank were predictably shanked by the warriors and fled. Fickle fate and dwarves physiology meant I didn’t catch up with the buggers.

Turn Five (Lizardmen): Tik’taq’to and his merry men-lizards swooped down on the thermals and charged into the rear of the Runesmith’s unit, their mounts screeching and flapping madly. The Skinks, obviously suffering from amnesia, charged the organ gun once more. The Skinks on the left flank rallied and slinked out of the reach of the warrior unit, readying their blow pipes for next turn. In combat, Tik’taq’to and company took a sizeable toll, killing four dwarfs from the rear, leaving me with no attacks back against them. Resigning myself to the fact I was going to lose the combat, I was overjoyed to see Ketil and the lads dig deep into their hidden reserves (of alcohol) and kill 6 Saurus, drawing the combat! The Skinks once again whiff things marvellously and fail to kill a single crewman. Clipboard man bludgeons one and draws the combat.

Turn Six (Dawi): The hammerers shuffled back, setting themselves up for a charge that would never happen. On the Left flank, the warriors moved up towards the skinks, deciding to get up in their grill as t`were, caring not about the imminent blowpipe doom headed their way. The Runesmith’s unit fared less well this turn, losing two from the rear (though managing to drag down a terradon as well) as well as three from the Saurus whilst only inflicting one casualty in return. They broke and Poor Ketil’s holiday was ruined by trampling saurus, rushing to get their free margherita vouchers. The Organ gun combat was much of the same with no crewman lost and one skink bopped.

Turn Six (Lizardmen): Tik’taq’to Swung round and led his terradon unit in a sweeping pass over the Lord’s hammerers, ready to drop rocks/coconuts/ tins of peaches on the dwarf’s heads. The skinks on the left took down two warriors with poisoned darts and tittered in their lizard speak. Tik’taq’to apparently packed nerf balls as opposed to rocks and killed no hammerers. In a sweeping crescendo of orchestral music, the skinks brought the game to a rather undramatic close by finally running down the organ gun crew. HUZZAH!
End Result: At the end of the game I was left with an almost unscathed Hammerer unit and my lord with two wounds remaining, a warrior unit at 75% and a unit of ten thunderers. Tom had three terradons and Tiq’taq’to a saurus unit under half strength and 12 skinks. (Rough guesses here). With the Calcutron 3000 Totting up scores the results were soon in:

Minor victory for the Dwarves!

All in all a very enjoyable battle. Tom was as ever a great player and a fun chap to play against. I was pleased to have gotten the win although felt I could have pushed for a bigger victory. Shooting the terradons down might have been an expedient move but I was distracted by the mess the cold ones made of my left flank so felt loathe to let them get away with it.

Thanks for reading anyway, ales all round!