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Northern Wastes 2021 Blood Bowl League

granitebeard grumblers

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#1 Bonecrusher



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Posted 06 September 2021 - 03:01 PM

Hi Guys, I've recently entered a bloodbowl league so will hopefully be doing some match reports as it goes along. Let me know what you think, is a bit turn by turn as that is what the organiser wants.


Hey there sports fans, we’re here in Karak 8-peaks bowl stadium for a match between the Granitebeard Grumblers and Glow Worm Goobers. Being dwarfs and night goblins I don’t see any love in the crowd tonight. We have 7,000 fans in the stadium tonight goblins as always turning up in hordes and why not as it’s the day for it.


DT1. There is the coin toss and the dwarfs are receiving this first half, it’s a quick snap and Blitzer Storaz Foecleaver catches it before it bounces, dwarfen line advances hoping to enclose the goblins giving Storaz a clear run, Slayer Thogek acting as a bodyguard.


GT1 But what’s that noise, I see the goblins have snuck on a chainsaw on the pitch, how’d the ref miss that? He’s heading straight for Storaz, and that shows that dwarfs know how to make armour, barely a scratch. Mouldy has stunned Brock Fireforge one of the Grumblers journey dwarfs, what a blow that was. Goblins are swarming to try and block the ball from moving further.


DT2. Slayer Thogek is taking his job seriously and blocked that chain goblin straight into the injured box, with some sever damage to his arms and shoulders, he’ll be lucky if he can heft that chainsaw again once they extract it. Storaz is holding his own and has knocked out Donky. They are clearing a path, though not to be outdone Slayer Kamnic has knocked out Squabble. Barely into this match, and Goobers are 3 players down, and a few are on their backs.


GT2. Thing is hitting back and stuns Barak Gritflinger, whilst his equally large companion is moving towards Storaz. Goblins are up and swarming the Grumblers to stop that ball.


DT3. With a sickening crunch Thror Oakenbeard has sent Liggle off the pitch, and it’ll be a few games before he comes back (MNG, NI) and in a death or glory throw Storaz has managed to push Mouldy back giving himself some room. Thing is knocked to the ground.


GT3. Mouldy has taken offense to being shoved and wow what a hit, Storaz is ok must be some runes on that armour, but the ball is loose and to get it they’ll have to get past the troll. Though Thing without some goblin prodding is watching the clours.


DT4. Thogek hasn’t noticed Storaz has gone down and is swiping the pogo out from underneath the goblin, knocking him to the floor. Storaz is up to defend the ball but is on the literal edge. Rest of the team are keeping the remaining goblins busy trying to keep them away from the trolls and the ball.


GT4. We saw it coming folks, Mouldy has booted Storaz into the crowd, but being on the dwarfen fan side they’ve touched his armour of luck and sent him back to the dug outs. Thing is still lounging on the ground. Wreggle has attempted to block Kurgin Hammerfist, but a side step and back hand blow has landed the goblin seeing stars (KO), another player down.


DT5. Coming into the second quarter the Grumblers are dominating the field and the Goobers are suffering. Thror Oakenbeard is not holding back today, Aggie is being carried off the field, and looks like he’ll be out of the running for a while (MNG). Also looks like the grumblers are playing pinball down there Kurgin Hammerfist passes Squabble to Gromnir Stoneshoulder, who lives up to his name sending Squabble to the dug out seeing stars (KO). Giving Thogek the chance to blitz Mouldy.


GT5. Mouldy is giving as good as he gets pushing Thogek back, whilst Thing just sits up and looks around him. Tragga being the last of two goblins on the pitch is doing what he can to save this half. Dodging out of the Grumblers grasp and goes for the ball, but he’s fumbled it knocking into the crowd. Still on the dwarfen fan side and it’s been thrown back onto the pitch away from the remaining Goobers.


DT6. Thgek is sticking with his tactic and shoulders Funguy into the crowd, ouch, he’s badly hurt, but he’ll be back in time for next game. The rest of the Grumblers block in the remaining Goobers and Barak Gritflinger goes for the ball, and fumbles the pick-up.


GT6. What is this, Thing is up on his feet and looking like he’s trying to get back into the game. Kamic is knocked to the ground by Mouldy he’s looking to try to be a one troll team.


DT7. Thogek seeing his fellow slayer knocked down is already writing out that grudge and with a low blow followed by a head butt has sent Mouldy into the crowd, who have sent him to the knock out box. Barak Gritflinger tries for the ball again, and almost fumbles, but after some juggling has managed to secure it and heads towards the end zone.


GT7. Tragga, who I believe is the only goblin left on the field in a last-ditch attempt, ducks and dodges his way through the dwarfen surround and is hot on the heels of Barak, he dives, and oh no, Barak slams the greenskin head into the ground, another knock out. Just Thing left on the pitch.


DT8. With little time on the clock Barak runs the ball past the chalk vein and it’s a Touchdown!! 1-0 to the grumblers.


GT8.  Little time on the clock, the Bloodweiser keg has mananged to bring back a few goblins, but it’s 6 goblins and Thing vs a full line up of Grumblers. There is a few clouds passing over head (change in weather fine-fine), and there is the kick. Some scuffling on the line of scrimmage, and the half time whistle is blown.


Welcome back to the second half of our match here in Karak 8 Peaks. Is currently 1-0 to the Grumblers and the Groobers are down by 3 players, but it seems over the half time break Mouldy has come back and is ready to play once more.

As the teams line up, and the ball is kicked the crowd has lost control it’s a PITCH INVASION!!.

With the crowd beaten back it looks like the Grumblers have come off worse, with Barak Gritflinger, Thogek and journeydwarf Brock Fireforge are on the ground (stunned). This may prove good for the Goobers.


GT1.  Thing kicks off the carnage of the 2nd half literally, by booting Kurgan Hammer fist to the ground, but again dwarfen armour holds. Mouldy is being kicked and punched to blitz but it’s just confusing him and he’s just standing there. Squabble grabs the ball and the remaining goblins start to cage him.


DT1. The grumblers take advance of the stupid troll and try to go around on the flank whilst creating a defensive line in the centre.


GT2.  Groobers are taking it slow but with a cage formed they are trying to push the dwarf line back.


DT2.  Gromnir Stoneshoulder encircles the goblin cage knocking down and stunning Wreggle, and Kamnic knocks Mouldy down.


GT3. Mouldy is cloud watching from the ground and refuses to stand up. With little option Thing grabs Squabble and despite considering it launches him down the field. Squabble lands and runs up the pitch hugging the edge line. Tragga dodges to support but is tackled to the ground.


DT3. Flint lightfoot runs back up the pitch putting pressure on Squabble, whilst I’m not sure but there seems to be a crowd around Mouldy. Not sure how the ref missed that, but he’s being taken off the pitch on a stretcher. I’d say he’s hurt but already that broken leg is snapping back into place. (Cas regenerated.)


GT4. Goblins are still poking Mouldy but he’s not moving, which is the opposite of Wreggle who is pumping those scrawny legs and is over the chalk vein. It’s a TOUCH DOWN!! 1-1 as we near the end of the third quarter.


As the teams set up for the kick the dwarfs are pushing those journey dwarfs to the front-line runners keeping back and slayers and blitzers on the flanks. Goblins are already caging in the centre behind the trolls. There’s the kick and it’s going deep into the Grumblers half. Oooh it’s getting cold, those clouds are back and I don’t know what magic is at work here, but we’ve got a blizzard on our hands now. It’s not going to make play easy at this crucial quarter.


DT4. Thogek is the first to spring into action knocking down Thing, but his tough skin holds fast. Barak Gritflinger runs back and picks up the ball with Flint Lightfoot runs up to provide assistance. The rest of the team is enclosing the Groobers attempting to keep them out of the way and give Barak a clear path, but it’s a long way down the pitch.


GT5. Mouldy strikes out Albric Forebearer and we heard the armour break from up here. He’s not looking good, but the apothecary has the healing runestones out already. He still looks bad but not as bad, he’s out for this match but will be back next game. It’s Thing’s turn to hit back at Thogek, he’s pushed back but stays on his feet.


DT5. Both Barak and Flint sprint down the field and are almost past the scrimmage line. Whilst the centre has come down to a shoving match, the Goobers have learnt from the first half and are not letting the Grumblers land a good blow, oops spoke too soon, one is down, but it was only a glancing blow, he’s alright.


GT.6 Thing has knocked down Albrec Albrecson, I suppose that’s the downside of not being a full team member, you have to mark the big guy. The goblins are fighting back against the Grumbers but they can’t get through that dwarf armour.


DT6.  Still Barak and Flint are pumping those stout legs, we’ve heard dwarfs are natural sprinters but this is putting it to the test. The rest of the team are keeping the remaining Goobers in check and boxed in.


GT7. One goblin has broken through the dwarf box and is heading for Barak, though he can’t stop the charging dwarf and is grounded (stunned).


DT7. Barak and Flint are looking a little red in the cheeks but aren’t slowing, after one goblin got through the rest of the team is setting up a defensive line, Thror Oakenbeard tries to dodge away from Mouldy and we can’t blame him, but ladies and gentlemen this is why you’ve got to double knot your bootlaces and beards, he’s down.


GT8. As the match comes into it’s final minutes the Goobers look like they are going to try another throw, but they need to get in position first. Wreggle leaps at Kamic, but the slayer slams him to the ground.


DT8. The seconds tick down, but Barak has just enough time to pass the vein to score his and the Grumblers second TOUCHDOWN of the match. There goes the final whistle. Final Score Granitebeard Grumblers 2, Glow Worm Goobers 1.


#2 Bonecrusher



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Posted 06 September 2021 - 03:03 PM

HEEEYY THERE SPORTS FANS!!! You join us today for what proves to be an exciting match here in the city of Camelot home ground of the Arthurian Cycle, and the weather is perfect for our game today. The Arthurian Cycle’s muscle, Mordred, is still recovering after a recent friendly match, but we do welcome a new member to the team Sir Bedivere, lets see if he can earn his place on the team today.

With the Arthurian’s being out I heard they’ve stepped up their training program (extra training +1 re-roll) and looks like Mordred is on the side lines working the crowd into a frenzy (cheerleader).

Our visiting team today are the Granitebeard Grumblers, and following their recent victory over the Glow Worm Goobers, they’ve brought they crowd with them today. Ticket sales through the gate is a whopping eight thousand, they halfling vendors will be doing well today, one stall’s prices are so good he must be cutting his own throat.

Here comes the teams now, both are looking good and ready for todays match. There is the toss and looks like the Grumblers are receiving. Both teams are set up to go pretty toe to toe, ready to feel each other out. There’s the kick…..


DT1. As the scrums lock the grumblers push the front line, though looks like Bedivere is seeing stars early in this match (stunned). Flint lightfoot, fumbles the pick up kicking the ball off to the side.


HT1. Arthurians feeling out for weaknesses in the Grumblers line and pushing back on the scrimmage line


DT2. The Grumblers are throwing blocks but the Arthurians are making it hard for them to push forward. Flint stumbles but manages to pick up the ball and heads down the field.


HT2. Arthurians hit back throwing some blocks and Arthur runs into the Grumblers’ half, whilst Pelinore and Elaine, move to halt the advance.


DT3. The grumblers are slowly clearing a path through the Arthurian defensive line, but progress is slow. Flint weaves through a thin channel being carved out. Gromnir Stoneshoulder using his name sake and Elaine is seeing stars. No sexism on this pitch.


HT3. Sir Geheris is defending Elaine’s honour by sending Thorek Ironhorn’s eyes spinning (stunned). I thought throwers were meant to throw balls, not dwarfs.


DT4. The Grumblers are pushing forward Flint moving more into the Arthurian half with Gromnir and Thogek as a driving wedge.


HT4. Sir Gaheris tries to dodge away from the scrimmage line to threaten flint, but is tackled on his way out.


DT5. Flint is pumping his legs towards the touch line, I don’t think the Arthurians are able to catch him.


HT5. Wait! Sir Bedivere, proving his place on the team is sprinting pell-mell to earn his place on the team, he moves in, goes for Flint, he’s got the dwarf’s legs, he’s wobbling, but has broken away giving Bedivere a bad blow with his boot on the way past. (Both down rolled, re-rolled to Skull – resulted in a stun)


DT6. As the crowd watches the ball, Thogek gives ‘King’ Arthur a quick boot sending him into the crowd. He’s looking a little worse for wear (KO’d), but I think most of the friendly crowd has managed to send him back to the dug out.
Flint unopposed runs the ball over the line. TOUCH DOWN!!! 1-0 to the Grumblers.

Arthur has recovered and is back leading the team. As the teams set up for another go at each other, Modred has whipped the friendly crowd into a storm. It looks like Elaine is glowing slightly. I think Nuffle is watching this match. (Cheering Fans – Roll of Nuffle 16 rolled, Elaine gains block for the rest of the game).  Though Merlin is thumbing through his play book, not recognising the Grumblers 3-5-2-1 formation, settling to counter with their own 5-2-2-2. There’s the kick.


HT6. Sir Gaheris has picked up the ball, and after a quick check (re-roll) throws the ball to ‘King’ Pellinore. The throw looks good, but Pellinore is having trouble getting a good grip and no it’s on the ground.


DT7. The Grumblers push the Arthurian’s back trying to keep them in their half.


HT7. Gaheris has the ball once more and handing it to Pellinore this time. Sir Nevillie uses his bulk to send Gromnir to the ground, seeing stars, clearing a route for Pellinore who takes to his toes and sprints up the field. With the clock ticking down he’s pushing on, oooh no, tripped on a hummock and is down. (stunned).


DT8. Flint runs and picks up the loose ball and passes to Barak, but there must be something in the air today because it’s slipped through his fingers.


HT8. The Arthurians know the clock is running down and throw themselves at the Grumblers, but the armour is holding out. There is the whistle for half time.


Welcome back sports fans, you are joining us at the halfway mark of our match between the Arthurian Cycle and the Granitebeard Grumblers. Score stands at 1-0 to the Grumblers, and the teams are coming out ready for another go at each other. Grumblers adapting to a 3-3-4-1, whilst the Arthurian’s go with their 5-2-2-2. There’s the kick and it looks high, Gaheris moving underneath, but misses the catch.


HT1. Gaheris moves and picks up the ball, hands off to Pellinore, not trusting the throw, but it’s on the floor again, luckily Gaheris has caught it on the first bounce. The Arthurians look like to be forming a loose cage.


DT1. Grumblers move their backs to halt the ball advance, whilst the scrum line has evolved to a shoving match.


HT2. Sir Neville, blitz’s Gromnir, to open the corridor. Ho with some force does Gaheris force the ball into Pellinore’s hands, some tension there, who runs up the wing. Bors tries to dodge out to support but gets tangled in Thogek’s beard and is down.


DT2. With Bors down Thogek doubles back and lands a bad blow against Pellinore, the stretcher team don’t are carrying him off, and I hear from the dug out’s that he’ll be out for a few weeks recovering (MNG), the ball is now loose. Though trying to match his fellow slayer Kamic sends Lancelot back to the dugout too (KO).


HT3. The Arthurian’s two players down, but aren’t throwing the towel in just yet. The scrimmage line is breaking up to offer support where it can. With a death or glory attitude Galahad tries to dodge to secure the ball, but falls foul of a foot and is down. (Stunned).


DT3. Flint again is in and scoops up the loose ball. Barak helps clear a path, pushing Gaheris to the side line where Kurgin lives up to his name of Hammerfist and sends Gaheris reeling into the crowd. Luckily, it was the Arthurian supporters who send him to the reserve box.


HT4. With another of their number gone, they are throwing caution to the wind and throwing those blocks trying to equal the numbers. Bors is knocked down by Thorek Ironhorn.


DT4. Kamic is clearing more of the field by sending Neville to the dugout (KO). The rest of the Grumblers are keeping the Arthurians in check, whilst Flint runs down the field.


HT5. Arthur moves to threaten Flint, he dodges past one, but fails to get past both and falls flat on his face.


DT5. Thogek, sends another to the dug out knocking out Gareth. Flint sprints towards the line, Barak and Kurgan as back up. The rest of the grumblers hemming the Arthurians at centre field.


HT6. Arthurians pick themselves up, Bors tried to make a break for it, but stumbles and is back down.


DT6. Grumblers tighten the circle, and Flint moves to the touch line, no longer sprinting but doing a bit of showboating for the crowd. To rub it in Kamic has Arthur back seeing stars.


HT7. Bedivere is up, but is knocked straight back down by Storaz Foecleaver.


DT7. Flint steps over the touchline. TOUCHDOWN!! 2-0 to the Granitebeard Grumblers.

Lining up, the Arthurians are back up to 9 players. The Grumblers are in their 3-5-2-1 formation, with the Arthurians in an aggressive 5-2-2. Some good calls from the coaches (Brilliant coaching, Grumblers +1 re-roll). There is the kick.


HT8. The ball lands near the scrimmage line, Gaheris goes for the ball, but he’s kicked it further on, mustn’t have been full recovered.


DT8. Grumblers are taking advantage and knocking Arthurian’s down and seeing stars. Barak weaves through and snatches the ball, passing back to Flint, whose run down the field and catches it. There is the whistle for the end of the match. Final score Arthurian Cycle 0 – Granitebeard Grumblers 2. Giving them another 4 league points.


Well, the votes are in and the MVPs awards go to:

Arthurian Cycle: King Pellinore

Granitebeard Grumblers: Kamnic


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