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Blood Bowl Match

ironbeards vs. sons of roland

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#1 Bonecrusher



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Posted 12 November 2019 - 08:01 AM

Hello All,


Bit of a write up from a recent BB match. I've recently joined a league so hopefully I'll be able to post more up eventually, and as long as I remember my note book. Enjoy.






- Don't we have a match for you from the low leagues.


- Boy you said it, when we say low we mean low and that is in every sense of the word. Tonight's line up are the 'Sons of Roland' vs. the ‘Ironbeards'.


-These two teams can't keep away from each other’s mines, you'd think they'd find a new mountain.


- You said it, but if they did we wouldn't have today's match. Both teams have surfaced for this one at a stadium north of the Grey Mountains.


- The weather has certainly brought out the fans. Today's ticket sales have seen the Sons' fans support at 5,000, whilst the hold has emptied for the Ironbeards standing at 10,000 dwarf support.


- I wonder who is keeping the hold forges burning.


- Captains in the middle, I'm not sure whether that was a hand shake or a hand crush going on there. The coin is tossed and the Sons have decided to kick first.


- The Ironbeards taking up the 'shield wall' defense line up, Sons going toe to toe gutter runners on the flanks hoping for a quick snap. There's the kick and it's landed deep in Ironbeard territory, in fact so deep if the Sons can pick up the ball they will have scored.


- The players have gone wild with their banter and it's turned into a full riot. The clock has started and the ref is just waiting it out. The Ironbeards have taken the Son's comments to heart and are laying into their front line. I can't tell by the pile up, but looks like Worm tail is being bounced by some line dwarfs. Oh my call the stretcher.


- That rat is out of it, bit of work with brie and I'm sure he'll be back later. The slayer's on the flank are getting stuck in, no holding them back, the Ironbeards' runners are heading back to their own zone to retrieve the ball.


-Sons are fighting back, good job they're so light on their feet able to get up from that block and the first of the Sons' gutterrunners Fangburn is heading through the gap in the defense of to the ball. He's weaved through their defensive line and flying up the wing. Oh no! He's down, the trap door wood is rotten and he's foot his caught. That looks bad, I think that is the last we'll see of him this match.


- I don't know why they have that trap door, but he certainly fell for it. The Ironbeards slayer's dubbed the smash brothers are having fun on the flanks. Kreler has pushed the Sons' captain in to the crowd whilst Gutric has pushed Red tooth into the crowd poor boy landing in the brew masters beer. That rat is K.O.


-Shouldn't cry over spilt malt. The shoving isn't over Ironbeards Trugemm has cannoned into Mange fur and sent him squeaking into the crowd. Son's fans have caught him and sending him safely back to the dugout, he's looking a little dazed but none the worse.


- Letting the crowd doing the hurt today.

Barrun thuds into the Ironbeard end zone and scoops up the ball, he's passing it to Runbar, but the throw is bad, it's bouncing around Runbar's feet.


- With 11-7 line up against, The Sons of Rowland are on the defensive. Cheesethief is moving to the wing to intercept and line rats move to block the Ironbeard advance. Gutric is clearing a path, he's brought a chain knuckle duster down on Cheesethief's head, and he's out for the count.


- I had a joke about that, but I've forgotten the punchline.

- Runbar has picked up the ball and is past the halfway line. I don't believe it, a line rat has ducked and weaved through the Ironbeard line and looped back round to Runbar. Bit of a jostle but both still on their feet.


- The Ironbeards are forming the cage around Runbar and are pushing their way through the Son's line. Darkclaw is floored by Thukrur , Scragg has been left dizzy by Daguldran, and Grimman has body slammed Scumnose.


- You guessed it ladies and gents, a 250lb armoured dwarf sitting on your head will leave him needing more than a tissue to wipe his nose.


-It's carnage down there and the Ironbeards are rolling forward. Frog blood is fighting back against Kreler and knocked him down, but those naked slayer's have more armour than it looks.


-It's the beard and rings, plus hog fat is tough stuff.


-Skitterbolt tries to dodge away to block the advance, but he's been grabbed by the rail and pulled from his feet, Runbar is running unopposed towards the end zone......TOUCH DOWN!!!!!!! 1-0 to the Ironbeards! Whilst the teams reset and try to revive some of their players, let's hear from our sponsors.


Come one and all for our exclusive sale on a fine range of cannons and artillery ‘Far last and sons - Ordinance solutions’. Prices so good you’ll be blown away. *Always use with care, improper usage could result in death, unexplained explosions are your fault.


Amizonidas: For the rumble in the jungle.


- With the Ironbeard's kicking the Sons have setup in a 3-4-3 pattern, being a rat down on the pitch they are covering the field for a catch. The Ironbeards have once more set up their front line shield wall with blitzers and slayer's on the wings.

There's the kick and it's high and long.


- Less powder needed in that cannon, it's taken it straight off the pitch.


- The balls been touch backed to Captain Cluny known as 'the Scourge'.

The Sons are out for revenge and have come out swinging. Skull face uppercut Daguldran , knocking him off his feet and got him seeing stars.


- Uppercut are hard against dwarfs.


- Mange fur using the classic tail trip to throw Albic off his feet and watching for gyro copters.  Skitterbolt has tied himself up with Barrun. Oooh big mistake.


- Should never get into a head butting match with a dwarf.


-You said it, that upset his curds and whey. Ironbeards are hitting back and Mange fur is the first to feel it, he is down and stunned. The rest of the Ironbeards are moving to intercept & block the Sons advance.


- Cheesethief is heading round to the centre, looks like he is prepping for a fast get away. Frogblood is ducking through the Ironbeards' defense, ooh and he's down tackled to the ground.


-Gutric has cut Cheesethief off and swept his feet out from under him, the ball is loose. Ironbeards are pushing the Sons back, and that is Skull face being carried off once more thanks to Kreler.


- Needs a new mask now too.


- The Sons are moving up to get the ball and that is the half time whistle. Time for the half time ale and cheese, and see if the wounds can be licked clean. Let's have a word from our sponsors.

Kroxorade: Life’s a fight, drink it up.

Steelhelm's sporting emporium: Let’s bring the pain


-Welcome back to the 2nd half of this bloody match between the Sons of Rowland and the Ironbeards. For those of you that have just joined us, the score stands at 1-0 to the Ironbeards, and what a first half it was.


- That's  right, the Ironbeards using their weight advantage to keep the Sons at bay. The teams are getting into position it looks like the Sons have gone through the play book and are trying a new strategy.


- With the Ironbeard's kicking it's a bold move to covering the backfield. The Son's  are still down a player, I believe Red tooth is still out fir the count and of course Fangborn was taken out of the game early. With the Son's in 5-3-2 foundation with throwers at the back and Cheesethief in the middle with two line rat guards. The Ironbeards are falling back to their tried and tests shield.


- Would you listen to that crowd, who let the rats out. What those cheerleaders are doing with those cheese puffs is really working the Sons' fans into a frenzy, whilst I think the Ironbeards' fans are well into the Bugman’s best brew by now.


- There's the kick and it's deep into the Sons territory. Darkclaw has grabbed it and Cheesethief has snuck through the shield wall. But Runbar is already on course to intercept with Kreler sandwiching him. Ouch, I could hear the scream from here.


- Yes the stretcher is out again, Cheesethief is out for the rest of the match. Darkclaw is passing to Scragg and it's looking good, oh no, he's dropped it.


- Vekec has sent Skitterbolt back to the dug out seeing stars. Runbar pushes through and scoops up the dropped ball right out from under Scragg's nose. The two seem to be wrestling for it now, but Runbar is not giving it up without a fight. Cluny is taking on Gutric, but the slayer has back up and Cluny is down after being double teamed.


- The Ironbeards are packing steel in their mitts this second half, Grithag has dropped Scumnose like a used tissue. Runbar has thrown off Worm tail and is running towards the Sons end zone with Daguldren and Gutric as back up.


- Frogblood is trying to break the cage, he's forced Runbar back, but the stubborn dwarf isn't giving up that ball at all. He's forced his way through and a quick pass to Barrun, he's caught it and is streaming straight for te end zone.


- Scumnose is up and hot on his heels, with Skullface coming to pincer, he's running hard, but no, he's down! A blocker has tackled him and Runbar is running unopposed.

TOUCH DOWN!!! 2-0 To the Ironbeards.


- Wow those short legs can pump when they need to and the stadium is shaking with the noise that those fans are making. Let's take a short break and a word from our sponsors.


“Orca-Cola, for when refreshment is what you need”


Come to ZomWay near you, make the meal your way, with ingredients freshly cut that day. ZomWay, eat flesh.


- Welcome  back, the Sons are the wrong side of a 11-9 line up, and have organised themselves in a 5-2-2 formation. Throwers at the back line, line rats to the flank and Cluny with backup on the far side of the line of scrimmage. Looks like they'll be throwing everything they've got down the far flank.

Whilst the Ironbeard line up have their hold team forward but stretched over the field with only the 'sacrificial three on the three scrimmage line.


- It's a surprise to see them change their tactic this late into the game, but as the Son's have positioned themselves on the flank, this may be a help to the Ironbeards keeping the majority out of the usual central tie up.

There's the kick and it's high, Darkclaw has moved into position and caught it cleanly. Cluny leads the play by knocking Daguldran down, but can't break that dwarf armour. Almost as hard as getting gold off them, though I think in fact I think the armour is easier.


- The Sons are pushing hard on the wing concentrating everything they have. Though the Ironbeards are holding their own and fighting back. Albic has leapt on Mange fur,  I don't think he's moving either, looks like another one is out for the Sons. They're trying to slip past the Ironbeards' defenses but his tail has been caught and is down. Trugemm has floored Worm tail and he is out for the count.


- Sons are really suffering with numbers now. Runbar is on the move, he's slipped round the back and grabbed the ball, the rest of the Ironbeards are pinning the Sons down but they aren't giving up. Wait! One has swept past one, and ooh into the shoulder pad of another.


- The amount of stars he's seeing he might as well have been playing at night. Runbar is free now and steaming down the field, pumping those legs like pistons. He's almost and the end zone and....



- With Runbar's 2nd touchdown of the match it leaves the Ironbeards leading 3-0 and only a few moments left on the clock. The Son's suffering in every sense of the word they are taking a knee and running out the clock.


- Aaaand that is time. Scores stand at 3-0 to the Ironbeards. Ladies and gentlemen that was a bloody match indeed, the Sons’ coach is beside himself I’ve a feeling he’s going to be giving the team a real tongue lashing, if not an actual one. The Ironbeards’ coach is on his second barrel already, I think it’ll be some rowdy celebrations for them tonight, I hope the local is well stocked.


- We also have news that both teams have qualified for the Northern Wastes League. I hear we’ve got a good set of teams heading into that. We’ll bring you more as it comes.


- Well it’s goodbye from us at BB Sports, see you at 10’oclock for today’s game highlights. 

#2 Glyfi Ironbeard

Glyfi Ironbeard

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Posted 21 November 2019 - 04:55 PM

Long time since I thought about the joys of Blood Bowl!  Love the write up and enjoyed the commentating.  True fantasy football there!

#3 LiveWaaaaagh


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Posted 20 March 2020 - 01:07 PM

This was great! 

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